Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Nobility for All Trogs!

Celebrate Lord Westover’s 10 year anniversary by being Noble!

By Robert Hudson Westover

Ten years ago this summer a noble star was born and His name is Lord Westover. His mission in life is to bring awareness that everyone has a noble star burning within us—even if we can’t see or feel it.

This idea of a noble super hero was birthed one day when I was about to jump out of my car to “engage” with a jerk who had nearly caused an accident by a very selfish act of stealing a parking space. I really wanted to give him a piece of my mind—in the tradition of being a Marine—but my ever wise husband, Tom, calmed me down immediately by saying “That guy's a jerk, but you need to calm down. You need to be a guardian of civilization not contribute to its unwinding.” 

His Grace, Lord Westover. Obviously.

Tom’s prophetic words stopped me in my tracks. Instead of potentially a loud verbal (or even physical confrontation) I simply said (a little loudly, admittedly) as I passed by the jerk-behaving person, “You almost caused an accident. It was really thoughtless of you.” I don’t know if he responded because we just drove on and I didn’t look back literally and figuratively. 

Now, with just that one admonition from Tom my mind went into PR mode and that day I developed the idea of  a “guardian of civilization” hence forth to be known as Lord Westover.

A few weeks later, sitting in my car at a traffic light in front of Washington D.C.’s massive Union Station, I read a quote inscribed into the granite exterior of the train station by James Russell Lowell. It reads “Be noble! and the nobleness that lies in other men, sleeping but never dead, Will rise in majesty to meet thine own.”

Thus was created Lord Westover’s manifesto of sorts or what His Grace titled the Nobility Oath. With this mission statement Lord Westover ventured out of his “vast estate” and began asking the world to take the Nobility Oath.

And many have…

So reflecting on over ten years of noble ambition and public awareness it thrills me to see my creation, Lord Westover, (or LW, as I call him, which does not please His Lordship one bit) reaching tens of thousands of, as LW would say, “Trogs” all over the world. 

Large national news media outlets including the Washington Post and the Christian Science Monitor have covered Lord Westover’s adventures. In fact, over 500,000 people have visited one or all of Lord Westover’s social media venues created to get out His Lordship’s message of the inner nobility in all of us.

Lord Westover's Best Selling "Royal"
instruction manual.

I chose to developed Lord Westover as a comedic performance art character simply because I feel humor can be one of the most profound ways to enlighten others. And along the way a “royal court” has developed with characters such as Manservant to His Grace, the Mysterious Lady K and the Earl of Fulton to help in spreading the Noble word. 

Members of Lord Westover's court sharing the
Nobility Oath with as many "Trogs" as possible.
(From left to right the Earl of Fulton,
the Mysterious Lady K and Lord Westover).

Over the years I have built a small non-profit multi-media entertainment group called Lord Westover Productions which includes videos, books, blogs and other forms of multi-media entertainment.

Lord Westover Productions' impromptu performance art shows have taken place at large national events including on The National Mall in Washington, DC as well as in other countries including Turkey, Australia and the United Kingdom. Lord Westover has even made appearances with Smokey Bear and sang to him on the fire prevention bear’s 75^th Birthday!

At one point a Hollywood production company asked us to film a mini-pilot or “sizzle reel” for a possible reality show! That sizzle fizzled, but it’s sure a lot of fun to watch! (And you still can by clicking here!) I’m proud to say that I think it will go down in history as one of the worst sizzle reels--ever. No easy accomplishment for LW’s theater company!

One of the crowning moments of knowing your message is getting out there is to see that messaging being copied by large influencers. One day a friend sent me a picture of an ad in a DC metro station. It was for Gillette razors and was called "The Reformed Troglodyte". It was so obviously a Lord Westover-type message that I had to contact the producer of the commercial. And he confirmed, that yes, indeed, Lord Westover had inspired the Reformed Troglodyte ad campaign! 

So over the years His Grace, LW, has converted a lot of folks to reform from being short sighted narrow minded trogs to being Noble and seeing the Nobility in all of us. But His Lordship's Nobility campaign is far from over. In fact, it is more important than ever. By truly seeing Nobility in EVERYONE we can move to understand, forgive and trust one another. 

In my humble opinion, there is no other way to save civilization.

JUST BE NOBLE.

Ask A Lord - Forget Where's Waldo - Where's The Mysterious Lady K?

Yo, Your Lordliness – What’s up with the mysterious Lady K, bro?! She’s been out of sight for way too long!!! You keep reposting old pics of her.  She been incarcerated or what?! Or did you fire her or somethin’?

A Concerned WorshipHER of H.H. (Her Hotness! Bro!) Lady K.

Dear Concerned WorshipHER – Her Grace, The Mysterious Lady K, has indeed been “out of sight” for quite some time and I know not where she is (obviously). That is to say, she could be hiding out in Buckingham Palace, Versailles, the moon—your guess is as good as mine.

The "last" known picture of The Mysterious Lady K
taken whilst on the set of the reality show pilot for American Monarch

Her Ladyship’s acolytes are well aware of her delightful capriciousness and revel in her lack of predictability. And, cruelly, some critics have gone so far as to refer to Her Grace as “The Lindsey Lohan of Nobles.”

I, for one, do not cast judgment upon any fellow Noble, even if they fall off the Noble path repeatedly (this is not an indirect suggestion of Lady K’s life) and leave the banner of Nobility twisting in the proverbial wind.

For what ultimately matters is if one pulls herself out of the mire of Trog iniquity and begins again to carry the standard of nobility aloft on her journey through this oft perplexing and curious world dominated by so many Troglodytes (again, this is not an indirect reference to Lady K).

So, when in her own time, Her Ladyship returns to The Vast Estate, she shall be welcomed with opened Faberge eggs! Until that time, carry on mysterious and Noble Lady K--carry on!

LW

Their Amazing Graces – Tuppence Plowing Will Make You Free

And Why Income is Not Wealth

My Dearest Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K – My spouse exceeds in being, well, so middle class. Every time I turn around it’s “we can’t afford this or we can’t afford that”. In fact, just the other day, I spotted a lovely pre-1917 Faberge work (at an unbelievable bargain price!) and all he could say was “This costs as much as a new car. We can’t afford it.”

Well, let’s just say “I lost it” and stormed out of the room declaring: You are the most miserly middle class person I have ever known! It’s absurd! Between our “jobs” and estate income, we make a rather handsome living but reminding Sir Middle Class of this only elicits the same response: Income is not wealth.  

Can you believe this!!!??? What should I do? Open a secret Swiss bank account and pretend my pre-1917 Faberge pieces are simply post-modern Fauxperge trash?

Longing for Pre-1917 Faberge but Married to a Boorish Middle Class Troglodyte

Dear Longing for Pre-1917 Faberge but Married to a Boorish Middle Class Troglodyte – We know all too well the dilemma to which you refer above. On one hand you so deserve all those refined objects de art but on the other hand you have to (dare we say) budget your income! It is indeed the age old conflict of dignity verse duty.

Yes, duty.

Their Graces with the most frugal of Monarchs, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth

You see, fellow Noble, unless one is living exclusively off the proceeds of one’s vast estate (like we), whether it be stock, bonds or lands, one is trapped (as it were) in the girdle of, well, the middle class. That is to say, someone or some entity with lots of capital [this means money for our trog readers] elects for a given time to handover said capital to you until they do not, obviously.

(Yes, this harsh system comes as a stark and chilling realization for many a Noble.)

In your cases, it seems that your “jobs” provide a disproportionate amount of household “income”. If this is indeed the case (as it seems to be for say 99.9 percent of the world’s population) then, dear friend of Nobility, you need to strap on the middle class girdle for (like many a trog) your household is dependent upon the tuppence of others.   

And, unlike the delightful, yet sorely misguided advice in that infantile musical about servants flying kites and cleaning chimneys, it is highly important that you continue to “invest” your tuppence “in the bank” for if you ignore this sage counsel you will truly find yourself adorning the constricting girdle of the middle class for a long, long time.

The great exemplar of this tragic condition of being forever girdled is a dear Noble friend of ours who once commanded the heights of reputation and income. This Noblewoman, we shall refer to only as Baroness B, spent lavishly and justified this thriftless recklessness as a necessity and indeed a deserved dividend of all her laborious work.

Unfortunately, Baroness B had ceased to categorize herself as “girdled” and a dependent receiver of tuppence and thus began her slow decline – the invisible price one pays for this self-imposed delusional state – into forever girldeddom. 

To this day, dear Baroness B must work, not because she wants to, but because she has to. Had she wisely deferred instant gratification and invested her tuppence (in the best and most prudent manner in which she could eventually reasonably replace her lavish standard of living), she would have had to buy less pre-1917 Faberge and embarked on fewer world cruises, but could have retired (or freed herself from the Gilded Girdle as we Noble like to say) whilst still relatively youthful.

In other words (for those still too dense to get the point), Baroness B could have lived the life of a truly free Noble person by putting off the ethereal amusements and bling of many a trog and plowed her tuppence into wise investments. Tragically, though, like so many of us (well, like most of our readers), she toils away dreaming of the day she will not have to seek tuppence from the proverbial “man.”

Though this “tuppence plowing” is by its very nature undignified (who doesn’t want their very own Fabarge Egg?), dear Noble, it is indeed your duty to free yourself from the Gilded Girdle by dutifully plowing (as it were) your tuppence “patiently, cautiously, trustingly in the, to be specific, in [the] Bank!” (Obviously!)

Gloriously submitted,

Their Graces

July 1, 2011 is Inner Nobility Day! Celebrate the Nobility Oath!

The Nobility Oath

I swear by the nature of all things noble to be noble in all my ways of mannerism and interaction with other nobles and, yes, the masses too--obviously. Furthermore, I vow to have the majesty of my nobleness presented to all troglodytes in the serene hope that the nobility in them, though buried under a colossal pile of ignoble inklings and intents, shall rise in splendid regality to meet my own.

Make the Nobility Oath Your New Years Resolution!

The Nobility Oath

I swear by the nature of all things noble to be noble in all my ways of mannerism and interaction with other nobles and, yes, the masses too--obviously. Furthermore, I vow to have the majesty of my nobleness presented to all troglodytes in the serene hope that the nobility in them, though buried under a colossal pile of ignoble inklings and intents, shall rise in splendid regality to meet my own.

Their Graces, Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K with the Earl of Fulton
aministering the Nobility Oath as the rabble looks on

His Grace in a "music video", obviously

A Lady for All Seasons!

Nobility

A Poem by His Grace, Lord Westover, Obviously

In wondrous Nobility abiding no troglodyte my heart shall fear!

For safe is such confiding for no trog dares to venture here…

Their troglydarian storms shall roar without me

Their thoughts are so low and belayed

But Noble-life-ambition is my compass and can I be dismayed?

Their Graces, Lord Westover
and the mysterious Lady K 
at home, obviously

Where ever this Noble compass shall guide me, no wantonness shall turn me back!

My noble life guides (Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K, obviously) are beside me and nothing can I lack.

Their wisdom is ever awake—and their sight is never dim!

They know the path they take and it is like a glorious noble hymn!  

Vast noble estates lay before me which yet I have not seen!

Bright ideas and joyous experience rule over me where
darkest moribund and selfish thoughts have been…

My Noble hope I cannot measure!

Our paths in Life are free

Their Graces point out the treasure

And they shall walk with me!
LW

Ask a Lord – A New and Profound Day of Ponderance

Ask a Lord – A New and Profound Day of Ponderance

Westover [sic] – I am a real [sic] British lord of high noble birth and have recently found myself out of a job for simply speaking truth about the incessant whining of the middle class during these “hard” economic times. Poppycock! These troglodytes have never had it so good. Here, below, is my honest query:  How exactly does a nobleman explain to the masses the obvious without riling them into a rapid middle class frenzy?

A British Lord Wishing to Remain Anonymous

Trog, yes Lord Young, trog, for that is the only proper reference to one as insensitive and callous as you of a supposed “high noble birth” have revealed yourself to be in the above diatribe cloaked as an “honest query”.

“Incessant whining?” How revolting. Tis truly “nobles” like you, Young, who give all “real” nobles a self-indulged and garishly (and fabulously) tarnished reputation amongst the middle classes. You, sir, have obviously never taken the Nobility Oath for had you, you would have thought before tongue lashing the proletariat.

Perhaps my much discussed and examined rearing by Gypsies gives me a unique and noble insight into the special “trials and tribulations” of the masses. So, out of my deeply humble and immeasurable compassion and, yes, sincere adoration for humanity and the defense of all nobles (obviously) let me plainly point out why your statement which, precipitated your much deserved status within the unemployed, was profoundly ill-conceived in its misguided attempt at stiff-upper-lipnist.

Firstly, one must understand the psychology of the lower classes. Simply put, they live for the moment; the transient thrill; the “Sha la la live for the day” melody of their odd universe and cannot, for reasons I have yet to quite understand, refuse to see, like stubborn mules, the glorious possibilities which lay before them. Or like hogs before a gloriously appointed thanksgiving table they do consume but at what a cost to the fine china, crystal and Limoges!  I write these harsh sentiments not as cruel jests upon their abhorrent frivolity but as a genuine gesture of sympathy and sincere longing to free them of their aborted life efforts.

To save for a better future, or encourage their issue to improve upon their sordid lot, is inconceivable to this happy throng of colorful dancers, tambourine tapping temptresses and clever “sell a bottle of doctor good” entrepreneurs.  But, Young, we must see the world for what it is, working within its strange and often warped parameters, and hope and encourage for a better realization of how we would like it to be.  

Hence the profundity of the Nobility Oath and all the weightiness it entails.  So, in the spirit of the American holiday known as Thanksgiving let us nobles introduce a new and more profound day of contemplation. We shall henceforth call this day before Thanksgiving “Forgive a Trog Day” with all that implies. LW  

Their Graces gather in the woods for
the first Forgive a Trog Day

Incredible photos of their Graces!






Their Graces, Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K,
take a reprieve whilst visiting the Great Wall in China.




Their Graces, Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K, attempt in vain to
administer the Nobility Oath to the American president.



Take the Nobility Oath!

The Nobility Oath

I swear by the nature of all things noble to be noble in all my ways of mannerism and interaction with other nobles and, yes, the masses too--obviously. Furthermore, I vow to have the majesty of my nobleness presented to all troglodytes in the serene hope that the nobility in them, though buried under a colossal pile of ignoble inklings and intents, shall rise in splendid regality to meet my own.

                                             Their Graces administering the Nobility Oath

See photos of their Graces administering the Nobility Oath!

Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K in photos at the Jon Stewart Rally in the American capital. Afterwards their Graces host a gathering of friends including Count Dracula (a true nobleman despite his strange choice of drink!) See it all: http://www.flickr.com/people/lordwestover/

Lord Westover and Lady K in music video!

Their Graces at the Jon Steward "rally" in the American capital. Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K were in town to administer the Nobility Oath.
I just made a video at Animoto!

Revealed: schedule for 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear' - CSMonitor.com

Lord Westover's and Lady K's mission to administer the Nobility Oath at Jon Stewart rally in DC mentioned in the Christian Science Monitor!

Revealed: schedule for 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear' - CSMonitor.com: "The Christian Science Monitor - CSMonitor.com
Vox News
Revealed: schedule for 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear'
Comedy Central has provided no details about the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.' But the park service permit lays out the schedule minute-by-minute."

Ask a Lord: The Two Headed Fanged Serpent of the Ignoble

Your Highness [sic]: I’m just a plain Jane type [obviously] who wants to be noble in all I say and do—just like your oath says! Anyways [sic] Sometimes I find it real easy to do (be noble and all) but most of the time I find myself sitting in front of the TV watching some reality show where, for the most part, people don’t treat each other very nobly.  It really bums me out [sic] and all I want to do is sit there and watch more. So, your Highness, what can I do to be nobler!

Despertly wanting to be noble.

Trog – To be noble is to simply identify and avoid the traits in you and others that are most associated with trogdom. And what are these vile traits you may ask? Boiled down to their core, they are apathy and stupidity.  The two headed fanged serpent of the ignoble.  

But fret not, much research has been conducted in noble circles to quickly isolate and destroy these characteristics in trogs. You may be familiar with the early research of Lord Smartingall who, in the late nineteenth century, conducted medical experiments on female dogs who incessantly chased their tails. After a great while, and much dizziness, the misguided canines would cease this stupidity, lie on the floor (in a type of trog-like contemplative apathy) then take up their whirling dervish ways with abandon.  

Even the mysterious Lady K admits to having suffered from SBS

This chasing tails syndrome you may know as SBS or Stupid Bitch Syndrome. And, I am sorry to say, but from your letter, you are, dare I say, the poster bitch of this vicious spiral of lifelong apathy and stupidity.

Simply put, stupid bitch trog, stop the tail chasing. Instead of watching “The Real Housewives” why not catch an opera or rent an English countryside period piece film. You will soon find the “housewives” to be Whores of Trogdom and not worth your noble time or energy. LW

The Lord Westover Nobility Oath

I [your name] vow to have the majesty of my nobleness presented to all troglodytes in the serene hope that the nobility in them, though buried under a colossal pile of ignoble inklings and intents, shall rise in splendid regality to meet my own. 

His Grace, Lord Westover