2015's Most Noble Person of the Year Award!

The Vast Estate (obviously) - Lord Westover has announced the annual* Most Noble Person of the Year recognition for 2015. 

And the winner is… Every non-radicalized Muslim (in the world), obviously.

His Lordship’s somewhat curious departure from just naming one person was due in part to the harsh criticism peace loving Mohammedans are being confronted with as fundamentalists of their faith seek to reenact 7^th Century tribal Bedouin norms on a modern world.

“Yes, I realize that at times the Prophet Mohammad acted out in very war-like ways, but his actions must be viewed from the perspective of the brutal life of the age in which he was born,” His Grace said whilst admiring his latest art acquisition, a bust of himself in marble (obviously). “It would make as much sense to emulate the Prophet’s more controversial militaristic actions today as it would be for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to imprison all of her adversaries and boil in oil the ones she likes least.”

Pictured above: Lord Westover and an the Earl of Fulton.
This photo is perhaps the one Mr. Trump refers to when he said
 "[Lord Westover is] all dressed up like a pretty little sultan."

Lord Westover went on to say (under his breath) that his last statement about the British Monarch’s ancient prerogative might not be a bad idea.

The world’s reaction to His Grace’s choice for Most Noble Person has been swift.

To. Say. The. Least.

American Presidential candidate’s reactions were rather painfully predicable with Hillary Clinton saying she had already give the peace-loving Islamic world this designation and Donald Trump demanded that Lord Westover “go back to the puny little estate you came from! You big noble looser!”  

Further investigation by FNN as substantiated that indeed Mrs. Clinton has never bestowed a "noble" persons award (on anyone) and, according to campaign sources, was having one of her "periodic-overlapping-fictional-memory lapses" for which she has apologized. 

However, Mr. Trump went on to say that he has a picture of Lord Westover dressed as an Ottoman sultan proving that his Lordship is a “Muslim sympathizer”.

“I have it...it's terrible. All dressed up like pretty little sultan. Disgusting.... Believe me, it’s not pretty,” the billionaire real estate mogul said to a roaring crowd of thousands.

Hash Tag: #JustBeNoble

*Loyal followers of His Lordship’s every move might notice that there were no individuals recognized for the 2012, 2013 and 2014 Noble person awards. According to His Grace this was due to a dearth of candidates (as well as the inconvenience of being held by Chinese nationals for over a year.) “So few in this world ruled by Trogs and it would be hardly appropriate to nominate myself or the Mysterious Lady K…” His Lordship said "off the record." 

Nobility Training for Dummies - A Book That Will Change Your Life

The Vast Estate is pleased to announce that His Grace, Lord Westover has published, Nobility Training for Dummies a new E book to change the world (or at least America). And it is His Lordship's hope and prayer (a lot of prayers) that upon reading this work American Trogs will never be the same.

Exclusively sold on Amazon.com, FNN News is calling Nobility Training for Dummies “a book that will change the world!”

The book is a compilation of hilarious Dear-Abby- like columns where over the years “readers” of Lord Westover’s blog have written to ask him questions on “everyday” issues facing them. The book also includes opinion columns and many more articles written by or about His Grace.

(Note to Trogs: There are lots of pictures.)

A moving foreword by Manservant sets the tone for what is truly a life changing read according to FNN book editor the Earl of Fulton.

“It should be required reading in every high school on earth,” said His Earlship. “Lord Westover strips the boisterous American Trog down to his naked nothingness and parades said Trog’s shame in biting and near lyrical prose. I for one, shall never be the same having read Nobility Training for Dummies.”

Indeed, Lord Westover so wants every American Trog to read his book that “I have priced it at the cost of a Momma Celeste pizza,” stated His Grace in a recent interview.

To obtain this life altering book go to http://www.amazon.com/dp/B013J4PQMK .

All proceeds from the sales of Nobility Training for Dummies are donated to charity...obviously. 

Ask A Lord - Forget Where's Waldo - Where's The Mysterious Lady K?

Yo, Your Lordliness – What’s up with the mysterious Lady K, bro?! She’s been out of sight for way too long!!! You keep reposting old pics of her.  She been incarcerated or what?! Or did you fire her or somethin’?

A Concerned WorshipHER of H.H. (Her Hotness! Bro!) Lady K.

Dear Concerned WorshipHER – Her Grace, The Mysterious Lady K, has indeed been “out of sight” for quite some time and I know not where she is (obviously). That is to say, she could be hiding out in Buckingham Palace, Versailles, the moon—your guess is as good as mine.

The "last" known picture of The Mysterious Lady K
taken whilst on the set of the reality show pilot for American Monarch

Her Ladyship’s acolytes are well aware of her delightful capriciousness and revel in her lack of predictability. And, cruelly, some critics have gone so far as to refer to Her Grace as “The Lindsey Lohan of Nobles.”

I, for one, do not cast judgment upon any fellow Noble, even if they fall off the Noble path repeatedly (this is not an indirect suggestion of Lady K’s life) and leave the banner of Nobility twisting in the proverbial wind.

For what ultimately matters is if one pulls herself out of the mire of Trog iniquity and begins again to carry the standard of nobility aloft on her journey through this oft perplexing and curious world dominated by so many Troglodytes (again, this is not an indirect reference to Lady K).

So, when in her own time, Her Ladyship returns to The Vast Estate, she shall be welcomed with opened Faberge eggs! Until that time, carry on mysterious and Noble Lady K--carry on!

LW

Ask A Lord - To Be the King of What?

My Dearest Lord , I write to you with great distress. It seems that a rather brutish gaggle of “Hollywood” Trogs has stolen the very unique and original concept for a realty show a Noble companion and I have labored to create for several years.

Our reality show (which shall go unnamed*) was to bring to the unwashed and pitiful masses of America the concepts of what being Noble is—an ideal to be sought after and (hopefully) achieved.

Instead, a horrific bastardization has appeared from some of the very “entertainment” industry executives with whom we attempted to reach! This heinous, demented and illegitimate (in my humble opinion) “show” is puerilely entitled: King of the Nerds.  (I know, such a ghastly title—can you believe such impertinent pretense?)

What is the proper response to these disdainful liars and thieves?

With All Sincerity, A Concerned Lady

Dear Concerned Lady – There is immense wisdom in the old adage “He that is slow to wrath certainly is not a lying and thieving Hollywood executive Trog…” Or something like that. 

Anyway, in other words, you should do exactly nothing.

You see, dear Concerned Lady, the Trog thinks he gains something by stealing and believes he deceives whilst lying. But, in Noble reality, he is actually losing everything and deceiving nobody (but other Trogs, obviously).  

The Trog builds his entire life on lies and thievery. Why all one needs to do is look at the state of the current American political, financial, and legal system (let alone the “entertainment” industry) for an example of what, in the end, Trogs end up creating.

Their Graces relax during the filming of American Monarch**
(Much security was  needed  to keep Trogs off the set, obviously)

Aw, yes, but Trogs do so adore discord rather than concord, dissonance over harmony (my word, just listen to much of their “popular” music) vengeance over forgiveness, envy over gratitude and selfishness over selflessness. 

And yet these very Trogs then have the audacity to complain about the continuous torments in their little worlds of chaos that they themselves have created with their very thoughts, words, actions and habits!    

So. Predicable.

If you were to pursue these sadly misguided Trogs, they would only deny and lie their way out of any acknowledgement that they have done anything wrong.

Because that’s what Trogs do.

No, the better course is the Noble Lessons of Forgiveness and Moving On.

Remember this, dear Concerned Lady, your brilliant Noble mind is an endless well of clever ideas and sound convictions. Though opportunity may knock rarely at the stone-hard door of a Trog’s intellect, it is a regular solicitor at the intellectual door of the enlightened Noble.

Obviously.

*Any misconstrued notion that this “unnamed” reality show is related to Their Graces groundbreaking reality show (really more art than show) American Monarch should be put directly out of thought, obviously.

** Again, any misconstrued notion that this “unnamed” reality show is related to Their Graces groundbreaking reality show (really more art than show) American Monarch should be put directly out of thought, obviously.

Beware Trogs! @lordwestover Twitter Site Has Over 4000 Followers

Unidentified Trog (most likely that Steven Tyler person)
seeks to "congratulate" His Lordship upon hearing
of his growing Twitter flock

Westover: Beware Trogs! @lordwestover Twitter Site Has Over ...: By [some trog named] Robert Hudson Westover --  The Vast Estate (and me!) are very pleased to announce that the Lord Westover Twitter account, @lordwestove...

The highly anticipated 2012 Noble Act of the Year!...

Full Noble News: The highly anticipated 2012 Noble Act of the Year!...: 2012 Ignoble Act or Igie handed out as well - Posted by The Earl of Fulton whilst on his sojourn in  Constantinople [Istanbul]   And the winner is... (not Prince Charles)

Prince Charles bursts into tears upon hearing he was
passed over for 2012 Noble persons award.

American Monarch Trailer

Do You Have What It Takes To Be Noble?

If You Could See What I See, Trog

A Poem (obviously) By His Grace, Lord Westover

If you could see what I see in you, trog, you would be astounded…

A Universe of Noble possibilities…

A new way of seeing…

A new way of being!

Nay, the thought of it must have you confounded!

But your say: Me, a simpleton trog, filled with a Noble being?

If you could see what I see in you, trog, you would stop “hatin’ on me.”

Indeed you would cease and desist

Your revenge motivated life of seeming bliss

Each day bringing you nearer the fatal abyss

But You say: I have defined myself by depravity!

Lord Westover (obviously)

Yes, you have… (obviously) 

What cost! 

What travesty! 

What Strife! 

Blissful Depravity!?

If you could see what I see in you, trog, you would at once stop your wicked ways!

For what good are they! Each day more dirt from your life of variance

Day by Day

Building a tomb about your Noble self (and a dirt one at that)

Change you would if you could see your noble presence!

And be Gay!

For, if you could see what I see in you…Today