Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Nobility for All Trogs!

Celebrate Lord Westover’s 10 year anniversary by being Noble!

By Robert Hudson Westover

Ten years ago this summer a noble star was born and His name is Lord Westover. His mission in life is to bring awareness that everyone has a noble star burning within us—even if we can’t see or feel it.

This idea of a noble super hero was birthed one day when I was about to jump out of my car to “engage” with a jerk who had nearly caused an accident by a very selfish act of stealing a parking space. I really wanted to give him a piece of my mind—in the tradition of being a Marine—but my ever wise husband, Tom, calmed me down immediately by saying “That guy's a jerk, but you need to calm down. You need to be a guardian of civilization not contribute to its unwinding.” 

His Grace, Lord Westover. Obviously.

Tom’s prophetic words stopped me in my tracks. Instead of potentially a loud verbal (or even physical confrontation) I simply said (a little loudly, admittedly) as I passed by the jerk-behaving person, “You almost caused an accident. It was really thoughtless of you.” I don’t know if he responded because we just drove on and I didn’t look back literally and figuratively. 

Now, with just that one admonition from Tom my mind went into PR mode and that day I developed the idea of  a “guardian of civilization” hence forth to be known as Lord Westover.

A few weeks later, sitting in my car at a traffic light in front of Washington D.C.’s massive Union Station, I read a quote inscribed into the granite exterior of the train station by James Russell Lowell. It reads “Be noble! and the nobleness that lies in other men, sleeping but never dead, Will rise in majesty to meet thine own.”

Thus was created Lord Westover’s manifesto of sorts or what His Grace titled the Nobility Oath. With this mission statement Lord Westover ventured out of his “vast estate” and began asking the world to take the Nobility Oath.

And many have…

So reflecting on over ten years of noble ambition and public awareness it thrills me to see my creation, Lord Westover, (or LW, as I call him, which does not please His Lordship one bit) reaching tens of thousands of, as LW would say, “Trogs” all over the world. 

Large national news media outlets including the Washington Post and the Christian Science Monitor have covered Lord Westover’s adventures. In fact, over 500,000 people have visited one or all of Lord Westover’s social media venues created to get out His Lordship’s message of the inner nobility in all of us.

Lord Westover's Best Selling "Royal"
instruction manual.

I chose to developed Lord Westover as a comedic performance art character simply because I feel humor can be one of the most profound ways to enlighten others. And along the way a “royal court” has developed with characters such as Manservant to His Grace, the Mysterious Lady K and the Earl of Fulton to help in spreading the Noble word. 

Members of Lord Westover's court sharing the
Nobility Oath with as many "Trogs" as possible.
(From left to right the Earl of Fulton,
the Mysterious Lady K and Lord Westover).

Over the years I have built a small non-profit multi-media entertainment group called Lord Westover Productions which includes videos, books, blogs and other forms of multi-media entertainment.

Lord Westover Productions' impromptu performance art shows have taken place at large national events including on The National Mall in Washington, DC as well as in other countries including Turkey, Australia and the United Kingdom. Lord Westover has even made appearances with Smokey Bear and sang to him on the fire prevention bear’s 75^th Birthday!

At one point a Hollywood production company asked us to film a mini-pilot or “sizzle reel” for a possible reality show! That sizzle fizzled, but it’s sure a lot of fun to watch! (And you still can by clicking here!) I’m proud to say that I think it will go down in history as one of the worst sizzle reels--ever. No easy accomplishment for LW’s theater company!

One of the crowning moments of knowing your message is getting out there is to see that messaging being copied by large influencers. One day a friend sent me a picture of an ad in a DC metro station. It was for Gillette razors and was called "The Reformed Troglodyte". It was so obviously a Lord Westover-type message that I had to contact the producer of the commercial. And he confirmed, that yes, indeed, Lord Westover had inspired the Reformed Troglodyte ad campaign! 

So over the years His Grace, LW, has converted a lot of folks to reform from being short sighted narrow minded trogs to being Noble and seeing the Nobility in all of us. But His Lordship's Nobility campaign is far from over. In fact, it is more important than ever. By truly seeing Nobility in EVERYONE we can move to understand, forgive and trust one another. 

In my humble opinion, there is no other way to save civilization.

JUST BE NOBLE.

Happy 90th Birthday Queen Elizabeth II!

His Grace, Lord Westover, wishes Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, a very happy 90th birthday--despite the fact that (yet again) His Lordship's invitation to the Queen's birthday party went "missing" in the Royal Mail Service.

A picture taken during "happier times" with Queen Elizabeth and Lord Westover. It is a relationship that Palace observers have always referred to as "odd" and "impossible". 

Breaking News: Queen Elizabeth II Thought to Have Freed Lord Westover From Chinese Prison!

The Vast Estate (obviously) -- In what can only be called the greatest escape in history, (or at least a really amazing one) Lord Westover [and his manservant] was freed by his Chinese captors in a
pre-dawn raid near Shanghai.

There is very little knowledge of the escape and how it was executed but sources close to the Vast Estate say a "mature" woman lead the raid with said "woman" taking out several dozen guards with her semi-automatic M2-A1 riffle.

"Let's just say that whomever she was, she knew how to use a weapon," said an unidentified British MI5 employee. "Apparently she took out several of the guards even before she successfully parachuted into the compound."

Some have speculated that it was none other than Queen Elizabeth II herself, but Buckingham Palace vehemently denies this, even though the palace had no explanation of the Queen's whereabouts over the weekend [whatever a "weekend"is].

Queen Elizabeth II with
Lord Westover in less exciting
times, obviously.

There is little doubt about the whereabouts of His Lordship, though, who is now recuperating on his Vast Estate.

However, sources close to His Grace say the nobleman is still shouting out orders like "some sort of Indo-Chinese potentate" but is showing progress.





However, a recent photo secretly taken and leaked to FNN shows Lord Westover, still in imperial Chinese garb, and "really getting into it," according sources.

His Grace, Lord Westover, apparently still
thinks he's a Chinese emperor

The highly anticipated 2012 Noble Act of the Year!...

Full Noble News: The highly anticipated 2012 Noble Act of the Year!...: 2012 Ignoble Act or Igie handed out as well - Posted by The Earl of Fulton whilst on his sojourn in  Constantinople [Istanbul]   And the winner is... (not Prince Charles)

Prince Charles bursts into tears upon hearing he was
passed over for 2012 Noble persons award.

Diamond Jubilees Are A Girl’s Best Friend--A Royal Tribute!

Queen Elizabeth, obviously 

Queen Elizabeth II Celebrates 60 Years on the Throne!

On this Glorious occasion of 60 years on the British Throne, Their Graces wish to express sincere gratitude for Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth’s, continued reminder that duty to country, above all else, should be paramount in all wishing to have a functioning and civilized culture—obviously.

“Queen Elizabeth truly embodies being a noble person in both action and in deed—indeed,” Lord Westover and the Mysterious Lady K said in a statement issued from the Vast Estate. “Even if Her Majesty did, yet again, forget to invite us to yet again another fabulous occasion* we believe with all our heart that we have always been “there” in our noble spirits. God Save the Queen!”

A young Queen Elizabeth 

*Their Grace’s statement was referring to the controversy surrounding their attendance at Prince Charles' wedding to Princess Diana and the now infamous portrait on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. Because so many asked for “that picture with the lord and lady” subsequent versions have “removed” any trace of Their Graces' presence. 

Their Amazing Graces – Tuppence Plowing Will Make You Free

And Why Income is Not Wealth

My Dearest Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K – My spouse exceeds in being, well, so middle class. Every time I turn around it’s “we can’t afford this or we can’t afford that”. In fact, just the other day, I spotted a lovely pre-1917 Faberge work (at an unbelievable bargain price!) and all he could say was “This costs as much as a new car. We can’t afford it.”

Well, let’s just say “I lost it” and stormed out of the room declaring: You are the most miserly middle class person I have ever known! It’s absurd! Between our “jobs” and estate income, we make a rather handsome living but reminding Sir Middle Class of this only elicits the same response: Income is not wealth.  

Can you believe this!!!??? What should I do? Open a secret Swiss bank account and pretend my pre-1917 Faberge pieces are simply post-modern Fauxperge trash?

Longing for Pre-1917 Faberge but Married to a Boorish Middle Class Troglodyte

Dear Longing for Pre-1917 Faberge but Married to a Boorish Middle Class Troglodyte – We know all too well the dilemma to which you refer above. On one hand you so deserve all those refined objects de art but on the other hand you have to (dare we say) budget your income! It is indeed the age old conflict of dignity verse duty.

Yes, duty.

Their Graces with the most frugal of Monarchs, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth

You see, fellow Noble, unless one is living exclusively off the proceeds of one’s vast estate (like we), whether it be stock, bonds or lands, one is trapped (as it were) in the girdle of, well, the middle class. That is to say, someone or some entity with lots of capital [this means money for our trog readers] elects for a given time to handover said capital to you until they do not, obviously.

(Yes, this harsh system comes as a stark and chilling realization for many a Noble.)

In your cases, it seems that your “jobs” provide a disproportionate amount of household “income”. If this is indeed the case (as it seems to be for say 99.9 percent of the world’s population) then, dear friend of Nobility, you need to strap on the middle class girdle for (like many a trog) your household is dependent upon the tuppence of others.   

And, unlike the delightful, yet sorely misguided advice in that infantile musical about servants flying kites and cleaning chimneys, it is highly important that you continue to “invest” your tuppence “in the bank” for if you ignore this sage counsel you will truly find yourself adorning the constricting girdle of the middle class for a long, long time.

The great exemplar of this tragic condition of being forever girdled is a dear Noble friend of ours who once commanded the heights of reputation and income. This Noblewoman, we shall refer to only as Baroness B, spent lavishly and justified this thriftless recklessness as a necessity and indeed a deserved dividend of all her laborious work.

Unfortunately, Baroness B had ceased to categorize herself as “girdled” and a dependent receiver of tuppence and thus began her slow decline – the invisible price one pays for this self-imposed delusional state – into forever girldeddom. 

To this day, dear Baroness B must work, not because she wants to, but because she has to. Had she wisely deferred instant gratification and invested her tuppence (in the best and most prudent manner in which she could eventually reasonably replace her lavish standard of living), she would have had to buy less pre-1917 Faberge and embarked on fewer world cruises, but could have retired (or freed herself from the Gilded Girdle as we Noble like to say) whilst still relatively youthful.

In other words (for those still too dense to get the point), Baroness B could have lived the life of a truly free Noble person by putting off the ethereal amusements and bling of many a trog and plowed her tuppence into wise investments. Tragically, though, like so many of us (well, like most of our readers), she toils away dreaming of the day she will not have to seek tuppence from the proverbial “man.”

Though this “tuppence plowing” is by its very nature undignified (who doesn’t want their very own Fabarge Egg?), dear Noble, it is indeed your duty to free yourself from the Gilded Girdle by dutifully plowing (as it were) your tuppence “patiently, cautiously, trustingly in the, to be specific, in [the] Bank!” (Obviously!)

Gloriously submitted,

Their Graces

An Emergency Message from His Grace, Lord Westover, obviously

Debt ceiling crisis forces Lord Westover to petition Queen Elizabeth to seize former American colony

To Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

Your Majesty, It has come to both my and the world’s attention that your former colony seems to be incapable of governing itself as the recent “debt ceiling” controversy has demonstrated, obviously.

Queen Elizabeth II with His Grace, Lord Westover

As was admonished by  Alexis de Tocqueville (a Cassandra for the American Republic if there ever where one!) once these American plebeians (trogs) figure out that they can essentially blackmail their elected representatives into doing whatever fool-hearted legislative whim they please, the great Republic will find itself ungovernable. This inability to govern took several hundred years, but it indeed seems to be happening now.

I have tried in vain to warn these Americans of the political trap of obsessive ideologies, but they have failed to listen—so deafened it seems by the din of their acrimony that they have abandoned all sense of unity—or common scene for that matter!

I dare say it rather feels like a civil war…

On one side you have a conservative ideology of little to no taxation. Yet every nation where taxation is low is either dysfunctional or oppressive.

On the other side you have a liberal ideology that says the government should take care of the needs of the poor without realistic accountability for abuse or excessive costs.

As your Majesty knows, I share a great deal of sympathy with these Americans as upon my abduction by gypsies, I was raised here (this is not intended to make you feel guilty). 

Consequently, the only hope I see for these politically dazed and ideologically confused Americans, is that you, Your Majesty, in your imperial splendor, should revoke their nationhood and assume control of their acrimonious government (at least for a few years).

And, perhaps, under your enlightened subjugation, these Americans will see how irresponsible it is to hold theirs and the world’s economy hostage as they haggle over ideology.

Devotedly submitted by your semi-subject,

Lord Westover