Debt ceiling crisis forces Lord Westover to petition Queen Elizabeth to seize former American colony
To Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II
Your Majesty, It has come to both my and the world’s attention that your former colony seems to be incapable of governing itself as the recent “debt ceiling” controversy has demonstrated, obviously.
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| Queen Elizabeth II with His Grace, Lord Westover |
As was admonished by Alexis de Tocqueville (a Cassandra for the American Republic if there ever where one!) once these American plebeians (trogs) figure out that they can essentially blackmail their elected representatives into doing whatever fool-hearted legislative whim they please, the great Republic will find itself ungovernable. This inability to govern took several hundred years, but it indeed seems to be happening now.
I have tried in vain to warn these Americans of the political trap of obsessive ideologies, but they have failed to listen—so deafened it seems by the din of their acrimony that they have abandoned all sense of unity—or common scene for that matter!
I dare say it rather feels like a civil war…
On one side you have a conservative ideology of little to no taxation. Yet every nation where taxation is low is either dysfunctional or oppressive.
On the other side you have a liberal ideology that says the government should take care of the needs of the poor without realistic accountability for abuse or excessive costs.
As your Majesty knows, I share a great deal of sympathy with these Americans as upon my abduction by gypsies, I was raised here (this is not intended to make you feel guilty).
Consequently, the only hope I see for these politically dazed and ideologically confused Americans, is that you, Your Majesty, in your imperial splendor, should revoke their nationhood and assume control of their acrimonious government (at least for a few years).
And, perhaps, under your enlightened subjugation, these Americans will see how irresponsible it is to hold theirs and the world’s economy hostage as they haggle over ideology.
Devotedly submitted by your semi-subject,
Lord Westover
