Is a "Stunning" Abstract Portrait of Lord Westover to be Unveiled at the Louvre?

The Vast Estate - Rumors that the Louvre Museum in Paris plans to replace the Mona Lisa with a new abstract portrait of His Grace, Lord Westover, have been swirling in Noble circles for weeks. Indeed, as in all things, there is a modicum of truth...or not...obviously.

No, the famed Paris museum and its da Vinci will not be moved, however, new rumors are suggesting that Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, plans to replace the official portrait of King George III in Buckingham Palace with the portrait of His Grace in caulk gleefully referred to has the "O, Lordie" by art aficionados.

His Lordship (and even manservant for that matter) could not be reached for comment...obviously.

The "O, Lordie" by courtier Lady Mary Horning

A Special Announcement from Lord Westover’s Vast Estate:

A Vast Estate (obviously) -- Today Queen Elizabeth, as head of state to the Commonwealth of Nations, has approved the succession of the first born child—either male or female—to  the centuries old British Throne.

His Grace, Lord Westover, gives a hearty “here, here” to such news. However, the next and obvious question is: When will Buckingham Palace (or world monarchies for that matter) accept the children of kidnapped nobles back into their fold? 

For those unaware of this highly emotional repatriation issue it is commonly known as the Noble Childhood Gypsy Abduction Reunification Movement (NOC GARM).

However, by publication time, Buckingham Palace had yet to get back to His Lordship on this pressing issue.

Their Graces, Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K
(both victims of horrific kidnappings by gypsies) await
response from Buckingham Palace on the issue of
Noble Childhood Gypsy Abduction Reunification

An Emergency Message from His Grace, Lord Westover, obviously

Debt ceiling crisis forces Lord Westover to petition Queen Elizabeth to seize former American colony

To Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

Your Majesty, It has come to both my and the world’s attention that your former colony seems to be incapable of governing itself as the recent “debt ceiling” controversy has demonstrated, obviously.

Queen Elizabeth II with His Grace, Lord Westover

As was admonished by  Alexis de Tocqueville (a Cassandra for the American Republic if there ever where one!) once these American plebeians (trogs) figure out that they can essentially blackmail their elected representatives into doing whatever fool-hearted legislative whim they please, the great Republic will find itself ungovernable. This inability to govern took several hundred years, but it indeed seems to be happening now.

I have tried in vain to warn these Americans of the political trap of obsessive ideologies, but they have failed to listen—so deafened it seems by the din of their acrimony that they have abandoned all sense of unity—or common scene for that matter!

I dare say it rather feels like a civil war…

On one side you have a conservative ideology of little to no taxation. Yet every nation where taxation is low is either dysfunctional or oppressive.

On the other side you have a liberal ideology that says the government should take care of the needs of the poor without realistic accountability for abuse or excessive costs.

As your Majesty knows, I share a great deal of sympathy with these Americans as upon my abduction by gypsies, I was raised here (this is not intended to make you feel guilty). 

Consequently, the only hope I see for these politically dazed and ideologically confused Americans, is that you, Your Majesty, in your imperial splendor, should revoke their nationhood and assume control of their acrimonious government (at least for a few years).

And, perhaps, under your enlightened subjugation, these Americans will see how irresponsible it is to hold theirs and the world’s economy hostage as they haggle over ideology.

Devotedly submitted by your semi-subject,

Lord Westover