NEWS FLASH! Advanced copy of Time Magazine's Person of the Year leaked!

The Vast Estate (obviously) - In what sources of Time Magazine are calling one of the "worst" security breaches in their history, an "advanced" copy of it's yearly Person of the Year cover photo has been leaked to the press.

Upon hearing of the "leaked" cover photo Time's executives began, almost immediately, denying any involvement or connection "whatsoever" with the highly controversial cover image.

The magazine, which prides itself in "claiming" that it "doesn't know" who said person of the year will be until said "person" is selected "very soon before the end of any given year" is quite embarrassed by the incident (obviously).

The face that has launched a thousand controversies
[American Trogs, this is pronounced con-travisty]

The Vast Estate finds this pathetic we-are-so-shocked-and-in complete-disbelief-and-deny-all-knowledge-of-said-controversy rationale, well, rather difficult to believe.

"WE fairly firmly feel that the magazine was hacked by the same Chinese black opts military unit that kidnapped Lord Westover whilst he was on a tour of Australia and New Zealand in the winter of 2013--a tour we might add that was copied nearly city-by-city by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge only a few months later," stated Manservant to His Grace during a televised news conference from the Vast Estate.

Manservant then went on to mutter something under his breath that observers claim was something to the effect of "I wish those royals would stop imitating His Lordship..."

Happy 90th Birthday Queen Elizabeth II!

His Grace, Lord Westover, wishes Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, a very happy 90th birthday--despite the fact that (yet again) His Lordship's invitation to the Queen's birthday party went "missing" in the Royal Mail Service.

A picture taken during "happier times" with Queen Elizabeth and Lord Westover. It is a relationship that Palace observers have always referred to as "odd" and "impossible". 

2015's Most Noble Person of the Year Award!

The Vast Estate (obviously) - Lord Westover has announced the annual* Most Noble Person of the Year recognition for 2015. 

And the winner is… Every non-radicalized Muslim (in the world), obviously.

His Lordship’s somewhat curious departure from just naming one person was due in part to the harsh criticism peace loving Mohammedans are being confronted with as fundamentalists of their faith seek to reenact 7^th Century tribal Bedouin norms on a modern world.

“Yes, I realize that at times the Prophet Mohammad acted out in very war-like ways, but his actions must be viewed from the perspective of the brutal life of the age in which he was born,” His Grace said whilst admiring his latest art acquisition, a bust of himself in marble (obviously). “It would make as much sense to emulate the Prophet’s more controversial militaristic actions today as it would be for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to imprison all of her adversaries and boil in oil the ones she likes least.”

Pictured above: Lord Westover and an the Earl of Fulton.
This photo is perhaps the one Mr. Trump refers to when he said
 "[Lord Westover is] all dressed up like a pretty little sultan."

Lord Westover went on to say (under his breath) that his last statement about the British Monarch’s ancient prerogative might not be a bad idea.

The world’s reaction to His Grace’s choice for Most Noble Person has been swift.

To. Say. The. Least.

American Presidential candidate’s reactions were rather painfully predicable with Hillary Clinton saying she had already give the peace-loving Islamic world this designation and Donald Trump demanded that Lord Westover “go back to the puny little estate you came from! You big noble looser!”  

Further investigation by FNN as substantiated that indeed Mrs. Clinton has never bestowed a "noble" persons award (on anyone) and, according to campaign sources, was having one of her "periodic-overlapping-fictional-memory lapses" for which she has apologized. 

However, Mr. Trump went on to say that he has a picture of Lord Westover dressed as an Ottoman sultan proving that his Lordship is a “Muslim sympathizer”.

“I have it...it's terrible. All dressed up like pretty little sultan. Disgusting.... Believe me, it’s not pretty,” the billionaire real estate mogul said to a roaring crowd of thousands.

Hash Tag: #JustBeNoble

*Loyal followers of His Lordship’s every move might notice that there were no individuals recognized for the 2012, 2013 and 2014 Noble person awards. According to His Grace this was due to a dearth of candidates (as well as the inconvenience of being held by Chinese nationals for over a year.) “So few in this world ruled by Trogs and it would be hardly appropriate to nominate myself or the Mysterious Lady K…” His Lordship said "off the record."