Breaking News: Queen Elizabeth II Thought to Have Freed Lord Westover From Chinese Prison!

The Vast Estate (obviously) -- In what can only be called the greatest escape in history, (or at least a really amazing one) Lord Westover [and his manservant] was freed by his Chinese captors in a
pre-dawn raid near Shanghai.

There is very little knowledge of the escape and how it was executed but sources close to the Vast Estate say a "mature" woman lead the raid with said "woman" taking out several dozen guards with her semi-automatic M2-A1 riffle.

"Let's just say that whomever she was, she knew how to use a weapon," said an unidentified British MI5 employee. "Apparently she took out several of the guards even before she successfully parachuted into the compound."

Some have speculated that it was none other than Queen Elizabeth II herself, but Buckingham Palace vehemently denies this, even though the palace had no explanation of the Queen's whereabouts over the weekend [whatever a "weekend"is].

Queen Elizabeth II with
Lord Westover in less exciting
times, obviously.

There is little doubt about the whereabouts of His Lordship, though, who is now recuperating on his Vast Estate.

However, sources close to His Grace say the nobleman is still shouting out orders like "some sort of Indo-Chinese potentate" but is showing progress.





However, a recent photo secretly taken and leaked to FNN shows Lord Westover, still in imperial Chinese garb, and "really getting into it," according sources.

His Grace, Lord Westover, apparently still
thinks he's a Chinese emperor

URGENT BREAKING NEWS: Lord Westover Kidnapped by Chinese Nationals

Group seeking to steal technology to His Grace’s Nobility Oath 

(Manservant to His Grace, captured as well)

The Vast Estate, London (obviously) – In what can only be described as a Patricia Hearst type abduction carried out by “soldiers” of the infamous Chinese Liberation Army (CLA), Lord Westover, who has been missing since attending Chinese New Year’s celebrations in Sydney, Australia has appeared in a series of strange pictures and videos just released by the CLA.

In the bizarre videos and pictures, His Lordship appears to be dressed in high court imperial Chinese garb and apparently thinks he’s now the “Son of Heaven.” He [and Manservant] appears to be in some secure compound that resembles the gardens of the Forbidden City in Peking [Beijing].

Lord Westover and Manservant shortly after being
kidnapped by Chinese Nationals.
(Photo courtesy of their captors, obviously)

The former American colonies [the US government] and subjects of Her Majesty’s Government [the British government] psychologists consider this a troubling sign of His Lordship [and Manservant!] succumbing to brain washing much like Hearst did when she appeared with a semiautomatic weapon in a bank heist with her captors in the 1970s.

“We certainly hope His Lordship [and Manservant!!!] hasn’t broken under the relentless pressure used by groups like the CLA,” A State Department spokesperson said at a recent news conference.

According to Her Majesty’s Government subjects [again, British government officials] the CLA, which is believed to be a covert arm of the Chinese government, is seeking access to the secrets behind His Lordship’s Nobility Oath, which the Chinese think will make any person a more "fabulous," "harmonious" and noble person.

One of CLA’s most well-known tactics, often used on Western businessmen, is to make them watch the film The Last Emperor continuously for weeks-on-end. They then begin to think they are Henry Pu Yi, China’s last sitting emperor. The harsh mind altering technique was developed at the Chinese super-secret military facility known only as Un Yu.

In this induced hallucinatory state, referred to my psychologists as Pui Yi Syndrome (or PYS Un Yu) the victims quickly begins to turn over all their industrial secrets, for which they have access, to Chinese officials in a bid to remain in a fantastical Forbidden City, much like the real Henry Pu Yi did in his own life.

His Grace, Lord Westover, clearly in the
throes of PYS Un Yu Syndrome.
(Photo courtesy of Manservant...wait. What?)

“WE have attempted to communicate with leaders in both the Chinese government and the CLA that the Nobility Oath has no secrets and is free for all to take and to live by its simple principles, as Lord Westover has clearly stated,” A source from Buckingham Palace, with a strikingly similar voice to Queen Elizabeth II, was reported as saying.

However, "The Palace" has vehemently denied it was Her Majesty the Queen. “She doesn’t even know who or what a ‘Lord Westover’ is,” One official was quoted as saying.

The Chinese government has refused to comment. However, a source close to the CLA said that anything that can change a person from being a complete loser trog to being a Noble person, animated to do good in the world, and with such efficacy, must have a very technical and complicated system behind to make it so effectual. (Obviously.)

WARNING: This video contains highly disturbing footage of His Lordship and Manservant... (too.)

“They [the Chinese government and the CLA] are seriously missing the point,” Her Grace, the mysterious Lady K said whilst stepping away from an elegant soirées to comment on the crisis. 

“One cannot possibly expect ever to be truly Noble by stealing what does not belong to one.” When asked about her concern for His Lordship's safety [and Manserv...we give up], Her Ladyship smiled and said, “He must be having a jolly good time! Son of Heaven. Indeed!”

Her Ladyship electing to take-in

the fragrance of a rose before 

commenting to the world press.    

The Vast Estate will be following this story closely (obviously), so please stay tuned. 

His Lordship's spokesperson Count Dracula and the Earl of Fulton contributed to this story.