Showing posts with label royals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label royals. Show all posts

Monday, April 1, 2019

NEWS FLASH!!! Lord Westover Announces Run for the American Presidency

Campaign Slogan to Read: Make America a Monarchy…Again


The Vast Estate (Obviously) - In a turn of political events that is certain to stun Nobles and rattle Trogs all over the world, His Grace, Lord Westover, has officially announced his candidacy for President of the United States.

His Grace, Lord Westover, is accosted by media upon his
announcement to run for the American Presidency. (FNN Photo.)
The nobleman is not certain of his place of birth -- as when an infant he was kidnapped by a traveling carnival family -- thusly, having no official birth certificate, Lord Westover is neither an American nor a citizen of any other nation.

His Grace, Lord Westover. Obviously.
(FNN Photo)
“This noble 'nowhere land' puts His Lordship in a unique position to claim the American Constitution as a fraud on a technicality and become absolute monarch,” states Lord Westover’s Man of Legal Matters.

When asked which political party His Lordship would seek the nomination under, his Man of Legal Matters smirked then said, “Really, now... Don’t you think the Reigning House of Westover is enough?”

Asked about his “party” platform Man of Legal Matters quipped, “A platform strong enough to hold a very heavy gold and velvet throne…obviously.”

His Grace plans to issue a series of royal edicts over the following months which will clearly spell out who will bow and who will grovel before his presence. Additionally, secondary noble houses will be clarified.

The one certainty known at press time is that Manservant to His Grace will take the title of First Manservant…obviously.


Thursday, December 19, 2013

Lord Westover Declares Noble Boycott of Winter Olympics in Russia

His Grace declares Russian laws targeting openly Gays citizens and Gay tourists as unacceptable, obviously 

His Grace will also soon declare Vladimir Putin the Most Ignoble Person--ever

The Vast Estate (obviously) – In a move that is sure to rally Nobles across the world, His Grace, Lord Westover, has officially declared a “Noble” boycott of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russian and is asking all Noble persons to boycott Russian products and to refrain from traveling to the country.

Ambushed by reporters from RT (A Russian "news" network) 
His Grace quickly reaches into his pocket and hands them a 
shiny coin, easily distracting them. (Photo Credit: The AP)
“Before the Russian Revolution, the mysterious Siberian monk Rasputin once prophesied that all Nobles would be swept from Russian lands. With the recent anti-Gay laws passed in Russia this prophesy has come true,” said a visibly agitated Lord Westover as he read aloud his edict from the balcony of The Vast Estate. “This leaves us Nobles with no other option but to officially declare the Russian government the world’s first Kingdom of the Trogs.”

His Lordship added that henceforth Russia should be shunned by all civilized persons until they make a drastic course correction. Part of this shunning was later described in His Grace’s four hour long edict and including a sweeping boycott of Noble products like Faberge Eggs and other imperial era objects d’ art.

      In a vain attempt to stop Lord Westover from declaring 
him the most "Ignoble Person--Ever" Vladimir Putin 
      uses subliminal messaging to lure Their Graces into his clutches
His Grace's often harsh critique of Russia in the speech also included detailed histories as to why Russia’s cultural connection to the Byzantine and Mongol empires “explains” the nation’s oft appearance as being the “mentally disturbed stepchild of the West.”


After what was called by much of the media as a “real *&%$ long press conference” only two reporters from RT, a Russian television "news" network, remained and attempted to accost His Grace, who tactfully offered them caviar and champagne at which point they acquiesced and told His Lordship just how embarrassed they were to be Russian.

Lord Westover agreed.

According to Vast Estate sources, taking this rather drastic action by His Grace did not come easily as his mentor, or “Countess Godmother,” the reputed revelator of his true Noble Being was, herself, a Russian countess.

“She would be immeasurably disappointed with the current Russian government,” Lord Westover was heard to say in a candid moment with Her Grace, The Mysterious Lady K.

“Obviously,” Her Ladyship was said to have responded

Friday, July 1, 2011

July 1, 2011 is Inner Nobility Day! Celebrate the Nobility Oath!

The Nobility Oath

I swear by the nature of all things noble to be noble in all my ways of mannerism and interaction with other nobles and, yes, the masses too--obviously. Furthermore, I vow to have the majesty of my nobleness presented to all troglodytes in the serene hope that the nobility in them, though buried under a colossal pile of ignoble inklings and intents, shall rise in splendid regality to meet my own.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Nobility

A Poem by His Grace, Lord Westover, Obviously

In wondrous Nobility abiding no troglodyte my heart shall fear!
For safe is such confiding for no trog dares to venture here…
Their troglydarian storms shall roar without me
Their thoughts are so low and belayed
But Noble-life-ambition is my compass and can I be dismayed?

Their Graces, Lord Westover
and the mysterious Lady K 
at home, obviously

Where ever this Noble compass shall guide me, no wantonness shall turn me back!
My noble life guides (Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K, obviously) are beside me and nothing can I lack.
Their wisdom is ever awake—and their sight is never dim!
They know the path they take and it is like a glorious noble hymn!  







Vast noble estates lay before me which yet I have not seen!
Bright ideas and joyous experience rule over me where
darkest moribund and selfish thoughts have been…
My Noble hope I cannot measure!
Our paths in Life are free
Their Graces point out the treasure
And they shall walk with me!
LW

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Ask a Lord – A New and Profound Day of Ponderance


Ask a Lord – A New and Profound Day of Ponderance
Westover [sic] – I am a real [sic] British lord of high noble birth and have recently found myself out of a job for simply speaking truth about the incessant whining of the middle class during these “hard” economic times. Poppycock! These troglodytes have never had it so good. Here, below, is my honest query:  How exactly does a nobleman explain to the masses the obvious without riling them into a rapid middle class frenzy?
A British Lord Wishing to Remain Anonymous
Trog, yes Lord Young, trog, for that is the only proper reference to one as insensitive and callous as you of a supposed “high noble birth” have revealed yourself to be in the above diatribe cloaked as an “honest query”.
“Incessant whining?” How revolting. Tis truly “nobles” like you, Young, who give all “real” nobles a self-indulged and garishly (and fabulously) tarnished reputation amongst the middle classes. You, sir, have obviously never taken the Nobility Oath for had you, you would have thought before tongue lashing the proletariat.
Perhaps my much discussed and examined rearing by Gypsies gives me a unique and noble insight into the special “trials and tribulations” of the masses. So, out of my deeply humble and immeasurable compassion and, yes, sincere adoration for humanity and the defense of all nobles (obviously) let me plainly point out why your statement which, precipitated your much deserved status within the unemployed, was profoundly ill-conceived in its misguided attempt at stiff-upper-lipnist.
Firstly, one must understand the psychology of the lower classes. Simply put, they live for the moment; the transient thrill; the “Sha la la live for the day” melody of their odd universe and cannot, for reasons I have yet to quite understand, refuse to see, like stubborn mules, the glorious possibilities which lay before them. Or like hogs before a gloriously appointed thanksgiving table they do consume but at what a cost to the fine china, crystal and Limoges!  I write these harsh sentiments not as cruel jests upon their abhorrent frivolity but as a genuine gesture of sympathy and sincere longing to free them of their aborted life efforts.
To save for a better future, or encourage their issue to improve upon their sordid lot, is inconceivable to this happy throng of colorful dancers, tambourine tapping temptresses and clever “sell a bottle of doctor good” entrepreneurs.  But, Young, we must see the world for what it is, working within its strange and often warped parameters, and hope and encourage for a better realization of how we would like it to be.  
Hence the profundity of the Nobility Oath and all the weightiness it entails.  So, in the spirit of the American holiday known as Thanksgiving let us nobles introduce a new and more profound day of contemplation. We shall henceforth call this day before Thanksgiving “Forgive a Trog Day” with all that implies. LW  

Their Graces gather in the woods for
the first Forgive a Trog Day

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Take the Nobility Oath!

The Nobility Oath
I swear by the nature of all things noble to be noble in all my ways of mannerism and interaction with other nobles and, yes, the masses too--obviously. Furthermore, I vow to have the majesty of my nobleness presented to all troglodytes in the serene hope that the nobility in them, though buried under a colossal pile of ignoble inklings and intents, shall rise in splendid regality to meet my own.
                                             Their Graces administering the Nobility Oath

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

See photos of their Graces administering the Nobility Oath!

Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K in photos at the Jon Stewart Rally in the American capital. Afterwards their Graces host a gathering of friends including Count Dracula (a true nobleman despite his strange choice of drink!) See it all: http://www.flickr.com/people/lordwestover/

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Lord Westover and Lady K in music video!

Their Graces at the Jon Steward "rally" in the American capital. Lord Westover and the mysterious Lady K were in town to administer the Nobility Oath.
I just made a video at Animoto!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Revealed: schedule for 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear' - CSMonitor.com

Lord Westover's and Lady K's mission to administer the Nobility Oath at Jon Stewart rally in DC mentioned in the Christian Science Monitor!

Revealed: schedule for 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear' - CSMonitor.com: "The Christian Science Monitor - CSMonitor.com
Vox News
Revealed: schedule for 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear'
Comedy Central has provided no details about the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert 'Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.' But the park service permit lays out the schedule minute-by-minute."

Monday, October 4, 2010

Ask a Lord: The Two Headed Fanged Serpent of the Ignoble

Your Highness [sic]: I’m just a plain Jane type [obviously] who wants to be noble in all I say and do—just like your oath says! Anyways [sic] Sometimes I find it real easy to do (be noble and all) but most of the time I find myself sitting in front of the TV watching some reality show where, for the most part, people don’t treat each other very nobly.  It really bums me out [sic] and all I want to do is sit there and watch more. So, your Highness, what can I do to be nobler!
Despertly wanting to be noble.
Trog – To be noble is to simply identify and avoid the traits in you and others that are most associated with trogdom. And what are these vile traits you may ask? Boiled down to their core, they are apathy and stupidity.  The two headed fanged serpent of the ignoble.  
But fret not, much research has been conducted in noble circles to quickly isolate and destroy these characteristics in trogs. You may be familiar with the early research of Lord Smartingall who, in the late nineteenth century, conducted medical experiments on female dogs who incessantly chased their tails. After a great while, and much dizziness, the misguided canines would cease this stupidity, lie on the floor (in a type of trog-like contemplative apathy) then take up their whirling dervish ways with abandon.  

Even the mysterious Lady K admits to having suffered from SBS
This chasing tails syndrome you may know as SBS or Stupid Bitch Syndrome. And, I am sorry to say, but from your letter, you are, dare I say, the poster bitch of this vicious spiral of lifelong apathy and stupidity.
Simply put, stupid bitch trog, stop the tail chasing. Instead of watching “The Real Housewives” why not catch an opera or rent an English countryside period piece film. You will soon find the “housewives” to be Whores of Trogdom and not worth your noble time or energy. LW

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Lord Westover Nobility Oath

I [your name] vow to have the majesty of my nobleness presented to all troglodytes in the serene hope that the nobility in them, though buried under a colossal pile of ignoble inklings and intents, shall rise in splendid regality to meet my own. 


His Grace, Lord Westover