Thursday, December 19, 2013

Lord Westover Declares Noble Boycott of Winter Olympics in Russia

His Grace declares Russian laws targeting openly Gays citizens and Gay tourists as unacceptable, obviously 

His Grace will also soon declare Vladimir Putin the Most Ignoble Person--ever

The Vast Estate (obviously) – In a move that is sure to rally Nobles across the world, His Grace, Lord Westover, has officially declared a “Noble” boycott of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russian and is asking all Noble persons to boycott Russian products and to refrain from traveling to the country.

Ambushed by reporters from RT (A Russian "news" network) 
His Grace quickly reaches into his pocket and hands them a 
shiny coin, easily distracting them. (Photo Credit: The AP)
“Before the Russian Revolution, the mysterious Siberian monk Rasputin once prophesied that all Nobles would be swept from Russian lands. With the recent anti-Gay laws passed in Russia this prophesy has come true,” said a visibly agitated Lord Westover as he read aloud his edict from the balcony of The Vast Estate. “This leaves us Nobles with no other option but to officially declare the Russian government the world’s first Kingdom of the Trogs.”

His Lordship added that henceforth Russia should be shunned by all civilized persons until they make a drastic course correction. Part of this shunning was later described in His Grace’s four hour long edict and including a sweeping boycott of Noble products like Faberge Eggs and other imperial era objects d’ art.

      In a vain attempt to stop Lord Westover from declaring 
him the most "Ignoble Person--Ever" Vladimir Putin 
      uses subliminal messaging to lure Their Graces into his clutches
His Grace's often harsh critique of Russia in the speech also included detailed histories as to why Russia’s cultural connection to the Byzantine and Mongol empires “explains” the nation’s oft appearance as being the “mentally disturbed stepchild of the West.”


After what was called by much of the media as a “real *&%$ long press conference” only two reporters from RT, a Russian television "news" network, remained and attempted to accost His Grace, who tactfully offered them caviar and champagne at which point they acquiesced and told His Lordship just how embarrassed they were to be Russian.

Lord Westover agreed.

According to Vast Estate sources, taking this rather drastic action by His Grace did not come easily as his mentor, or “Countess Godmother,” the reputed revelator of his true Noble Being was, herself, a Russian countess.

“She would be immeasurably disappointed with the current Russian government,” Lord Westover was heard to say in a candid moment with Her Grace, The Mysterious Lady K.

“Obviously,” Her Ladyship was said to have responded

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